Let me start with a little background. My name is Richard Baker, I was named after the legendary BBC newsreader, a favourite with my mother and just about the whole nation at the time. I was not grateful. For a modern equivalent imagine calling your child Huw Edwards. I have had a life of professionally … Continue reading A HIGHER STANDARD OF TWADDLE
FEAR OF HEIGHTS
When I lived at Malthouse Farm Buster lived up at the top of the lane. I met him at the beginning of my last summer at the house, by the end of the holiday I was gone. I had never had a best friend before and didn't really know how to identify one, but Buster … Continue reading FEAR OF HEIGHTS
PEANUTS FOR CHINA
When I was young and had my whole life in front of me I wanted nothing more than to be older. To have less life in front of me. I had time to burn and a box of matches. But this was the seventies, the pre-information age, so my longing for the years to pass … Continue reading PEANUTS FOR CHINA
PIG BREAD
This isn't exactly a short poem, nor is it exactly how it happened as it is eighteen months compressed into a single day that occurred almost fifty years ago. It's more about mood than accuracy, I've taken liberties, so much so that my big sister Sandy isn't in it, sorry Suds, but fifth doesn't rhyme with … Continue reading PIG BREAD
RED VERSUS BLUE
According to excitable people in the know we are going to Mars. They're not sure when, no one is, but it is going to happen, has to happen. Sometime. In the not too distant future. The race is on. Almost. Seems pretty stupid if you ask me. No one is though so that's alright but … Continue reading RED VERSUS BLUE
THE KINK IN YOUR JOLLIES
I am a parent. There I said it. I have children, too many children, I keep telling the youngest that I am taking him back but he just smiles at me and nods kindly. He owns me and somewhat undermines my attempts to convince myself that I am not defined by my kids. I am not, … Continue reading THE KINK IN YOUR JOLLIES
THE ENEMY OF THE PEOPLE
I can be the advocate of the very devil. In order to better understand the beliefs of someone I disagree with I put myself in their place and allow their opinion to lap over my infernal gunwales. I can find myself arguing in favour of some pretty grim views but sometimes it is the only … Continue reading THE ENEMY OF THE PEOPLE
ANY SUFFICIENTLY ADVANCED ARGUMENT IS INDISTINGUISHABLE FROM BULLSHIT
Warning: What follows contains cynicism. It is opinionated, probably inaccurate, possibly libellous, inconsistent in tone and somewhat rambling. If you are of fragile political sensibility you might be offended and your tea may well exit through your nose. The point of politicians is increasingly lost on everyone except politicians. There was a time when we … Continue reading ANY SUFFICIENTLY ADVANCED ARGUMENT IS INDISTINGUISHABLE FROM BULLSHIT
5.972 SEXTILLION TONS
It is Friday night and I find myself at a corner table in the pub, as if by magic. I look up, chewing lightly on my bottom lip, staring at the freshly pulled beer, anticipating the extraordinary first mouthful. I don’t drink very much but what I do drink I enjoy. It is interesting that … Continue reading 5.972 SEXTILLION TONS
THE EXPLICABLE PERSISTENCE OF MINI METROS IN THE MIND OF SOMEONE LOOKING OUT FOR THEM
The first house I ever lived in was number 25 Poplar Avenue. It was nothing special, a fifties suburban semi, but I loved it. Primary school was at the top of the hill and as a shy child the walk home was always more about the destination than the journey. Our front gate had 25 … Continue reading THE EXPLICABLE PERSISTENCE OF MINI METROS IN THE MIND OF SOMEONE LOOKING OUT FOR THEM
THE ACCIDENTAL HUMAN 